Pressed the camera button a few times while toying with the idea of vlogging, today. Obviously, I decided to blog today, instead. 😉
The few images captured during the vlogging thoughts were very sobering, but I want to be transparent with you guys. This is the real me, right now. Some days are good, others-not so much. If we aren’t really paying attention, our thoughts show up on our face, y’all. Smile today. Be intentional about it. 🙂 It helps. And, it helps the caring people around you, to smile as well.
Update: Today hasn’t been a great one.
We aren’t even a month in, after our increasingly life-changing news. Some would say nothing has really changed, to get over it, and to think positive. That the mind can be molded into submission to remain cheerful.
Others would beg to differ, as we now know
sometimes lesions make their home in a normally positive brain atmosphere-to make it medically almost impossible not to feel down. I know the training. I pour in positive “on the daily”-I have coached others (though *not* a counselor) who have struggled in this area, but this time, it’s not the same. The training…and words….etc. are simply keeping hope alive. I have to say…sometimes the thoughts we try to control simply refuse to be harnessed. And THAT is me being incredibly transparent. You *know* I am normally a happy, smiling, positive-thinking, encouraging person. You know I am a FIRM BELIEVER in what we do, and it WORKS!
The enemy is fighting hard, but that’s because he knows I’m on a mission. He knows I have purpose. He may tell me it is medically impossible to be my normal joyful self, or that I’m too far behind to catch up to my goals. He’s a liar. And very, very good at it! A master-manipulator. But, I know sometimes we have to take a “break.” Be still. Don’t stress, and know we have ALREADY WON!!
Here’s my truth:
I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, at exactly the right time. Not taking this time for granted…and… I won’t quit.
Of this I am sure: we fight a spiritual warfare. It’s not my battle, but His. My competitive, business-as-usual side wants to GO!! NOW!!!!! My shaky, unbalanced, and sick side-reminds me it is time to be still. The emotions are affected. The balance is affected. The vision is affected. Dizzy. Eye pain. Strange gait. blah, blah, blah…
But…what has NOT changed?? He is the same yesterday, today, and forever! He loves you…He loves me…and as much as the enemy would like to think otherwise–we are overcomers!!! :)!!!
Thanks for your continued prayers. They are the most powerful weapon, and connection to our ALL-POWERFUL God!!! I know in my heart this is just temporary, y’all. So, whether you see or hear me often-or not right now, just know I cherish your prayers. And though I cannot say exactly when at this point in time… I WILL BE BACK! <3
#keepyourheadup #Histimingisalwaysperfect! #bestill
Plus-sized faith today,
Donnarae
