Where there is no vision…

This is one of my favorite pictures. Beaux always has had beautiful, long lashes-the envy of many when he was a child. I think his eyes are striking and beautiful. They are eyes with a story. A quiet, almost hidden past. Those eyes have been a constant reminder of God’s goodness. The memory of that day started with homework. Yes, even in K5, one reads. Always a favorite subject! Beaux was struggling with this homework, which was very unlike him-as he was–and is–and excellent reader. A quick cover-one-eye, then the other, test prompted us to schedule a visit to the eye dr. very quickly. Once there, he wouldn’t touch his case, and sent him immediately to a specialist.  Please know I realize there is always something worse, or someone who struggles more, but for me…that day…
The world came to a screeching halt the day the doctor said Beaux was blind in one eye, and quickly losing sight in the other. Dr. Redmond was a wonderful, caring, calm light for us during those first scary years, then remained a constant help for many years after, until he sadly passed. We could not have asked for a better specialist for Beaux. The diagnosis was a strange inflammation that had attacked his blood vessels in his eyes, for which he was taken into surgery.  That helped, but started a long, drawn-out process of measures after the diagnosis.  An example-cataracts, more inflammation, always checking the front and the back of the eyes…the result?  He was given steroids. The steroids caused Cushing’s Syndrome- which is unfortunate any time, but was so sad to see in a child. Especially, when it affects your son. His Kindergarten graduation pictures bring a lump to my throat to this day. Travels to Emory University campus-Egleston Hospital in Atlanta-for surgery after surgery would cement the fact that Beaux’s world would never be the norm. I remember the hospital room filled with students as the interest was high at a teaching hospital, for the patient who had this unusual case…one that would be treated by freezing the vessels in his eye. We were blessed to have this access, due to our specialist who cared enough to recommend the procedure that might help, be done by the man who invented it, himself! Back and forth we would travel, toting Disney books and tapes, Patch the Pirate, Veggie tales, and always returning with a little stuffed bear made by some dear souls for patients in the children’s hospital, having surgery. Just the sight of one of those bears today, brings a rush of memories. The years passed, Beaux’s eyes improved with the help of aphakic contact lenses. These take the place of the lenses that were removed years ago. Painful drops, medicine, always mindful that a fall or knock to the head could dislodge the cornea etc., and the constant reminder that God was in control of it all. My prayer-warrior mom, rallied and kept those around her praying as well, for which we are forever grateful. She and dad were our number one supporters, but of course Roy’s mom and dad, our sisters, and friends and family around us lifted us up during those scary days, as well. Gone were any hopes of sports, but God has a way of working everything out. He knew Beaux before he was born, and didn’t put a love of sports inside him. A love of movies and books? A love of order and organization? Perfect! We couldn’t have asked for a more content child, so calm, so patient, so long-suffering. Others at the same appointments-though being treated for different things, would scream and cry when they had to get their eye drops, or blood drawn, etc. Not Beaux. He was the picture of calm, and quiet. That made the years so much less hard for us, and I am grateful. We have heard unkind remarks over the years about our choices, and his condition. About the sins of his parents bringing this condition.  That one always threw me for a loop.  Don’t you think we searched our hearts?  Wouldn’t one try to think how that would feel to hear, if one were seeing their child in pain?  Fast-forward to today.  Beaux has zero peripheral vision so driving is not something he does-for his safety and the safety of those on the road. Yes, he has tried, but imagine HAVING to use mirrors ONLY, or completely turn your head around to be able to check the lane beside you.  Not safe.  He cannot see in the dark at all-UNLESS it is a black light. The guys used to enjoy those special black-light mini-golf courses where, of course, he could SEE to play! :)! To this day he needs to hold an arm, a rail, or a wall when walking through an amusement park line that goes through a dim area, or when heading into the theater. Have you ever noticed how dark those little hallways are? We notice, because for him, it matters.
All those things aside, we are so very, very thankful! His lenses were removed-as I mentioned above-years ago. He wears a combination of contact lenses that replace his own, along with bifocals. When he takes his contacts out at night, he cannot see. His back-up glasses are some of the thickest I’ve ever seen. BUT-with them on…he can see. There was a point when his vision straight ahead was BETTER than Roy’s or mine! A reminder of how amazing the medical advances are, and how great our God is! The good vision was a direct answer to prayer, and I don’t think we ever truly expected such amazing news!  That doesn’t change the lack of peripheral. That doesn’t change the darkness issue. That doesn’t change the driving issue. Of course, there are ways around these obstacles. Uber. Walking. Working from home, or in a walkable area. Or, asking someone to share a ride. This article was not to elicit sympathy or suggestions on how to better the situation, as we/and he have lived with this gift for many years, and he is now able to make any decisions regarding his health, on his own. The gift? Seeing just how special he is. And, being so very, very grateful he-and we-can see today!
Why tell this story today?
Today is Beaux’s birthday.  He is a kind, funny, thoughtful, hard-working man of 26.  We love him, are thankful for him, and are incredibly proud of him.  Going through trials takes faith.  To come out-or continue through-smiling, takes faith.  Faith to do what you think is right.  Faith to stand firm when well-meaning suggestions, recommendations, and downright unkind comments are made about you-or someone you love with all your heart.  Faith to be the mom that gives space.  Faith to be the wife that submits.  Faith to see a bright future, when things may seem bleak, at times.  I’ll never forget the meeting with (our Pastor at the time) Jim Schettler, who reminded me “The joy of the Lord is your strength.”  That was many years ago.  It remains true, today, and is one of my favorite reminders.  🙂  Faith can change things.  Faith can change people.  Plus-sized faith?  Helps me be me, with His hand…in it all.  We will always be looking ahead, and growing-and, I’m grateful for it, because all things work together for our good!  As far as Beaux?  He’ll be just fine.  He lives independently, in our enclosed garage, and when he’s ready, he’ll move somewhere that suits him even better.  His brother moved to Nashville a day before his birthday, last year…and is living his dream-surrounded by coffee (some of the best in the country!), music (of course, since he’s been drumming since he was at least 9), and “old soul” bikes (He’s getting good at investing and selling older Harley’s, lately.)  So.  Our nest is 1/2 “empty”-but our lives are full.
This thing called life?  Doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s.  In fact, I think everything is better when we’re unique.  Authentic.  To live like that, in a world filled with selfies, and kudos, and my-dog/cat/child/job/house/car/life-is better than yours…takes vision.  Without that, people perish.  Without vision one finds themselves always trying to add up to what someone ELSE thinks.  It’s not their life, y’all.  It’s yours.  And, it’s short.  Find your faith.   Find your vision.  Find your joy.  These things, IMHO- make life happy, and fulfilling.